Coaching is a collaborative, forward-looking process that supports someone to work through a difficulty, develop greater emotional awareness, and make changes that improve their wellbeing or help them move towards a goal.

It differs from counselling or therapy, which often focus more heavily on exploring and resolving past experiences or trauma. Coaching does not diagnose or treat clinical mental health conditions such as trauma, depression, eating disorders, or other psychiatric conditions.

Someone experiencing those challenges may still benefit from coaching alongside appropriate professional support, but coaching itself is not a treatment for mental health conditions.

Coaching is always something that is done with a person, rather than done to them. The focus is on agency, understanding, and developing skills the individual can use in everyday life.

In my work with children and families, coaching is adapted to be age-appropriate, practical, and supportive, helping young people make sense of their emotions, build confidence, and develop healthier ways of responding to challenges.

Coaching can be helpful for anyone who feels they would benefit from extra support, reflection, or guidance. At Identity Coaching, I work specifically with children and their parents.

I don’t place fixed age limits on coaching, but sessions are always adapted to the child’s age, development, and needs. Some ideas and tools are simplified or approached more practically for younger children, while older children and teenagers are able to engage with more abstract concepts.

Coaching is particularly well suited to children who are generally doing okay but have started to struggle following a change or challenge — for example a change of school, a knock to confidence, increased anxiety, or difficulty adjusting to new expectations.

It can also support children who want to build confidence, emotional awareness, and a stronger mindset, helping them develop skills they can continue to use long after coaching has ended.

What kinds of things can coaching help with?

Coaching can support children across a broad range of areas, depending on their needs and circumstances. This may include:

• building confidence, self-esteem, and a stronger sense of self

• developing emotional regulation skills and greater emotional awareness

• growing resilience and learning how to respond to challenges and setbacks

• strengthening independence and self-leadership

• developing a growth mindset and healthier responses to negative thinking

• improving relationships with peers and adults

• learning how to act as a positive role model within school or family life

• building early leadership skills, such as responsibility, communication, and self-belief

Coaching is always tailored to the individual child and focuses on developing practical skills and ways of thinking that can be used in everyday situations.

All children benefit from having a focused, attentive adult working with them individually. This is something I witnessed consistently during my time working in schools, long before I began coaching.

Coaching offers many of the same benefits parents associate with a great teacher — being listened to, understood, and encouraged — but with a more direct focus on the child’s internal world. Sessions are centred on confidence, emotional understanding, and personal development, helping children make sense of their thoughts, feelings, and reactions rather than simply being told what to do.

When coaching is helpful, changes are often subtle at first: a child may become calmer, more reflective, more confident in themselves, or better able to handle challenges and setbacks. Over time, this can show up as improved behaviour, stronger relationships, and a greater sense of independence.

Research into coaching with children and young people is still emerging, and it does not offer guarantees or one-size-fits-all outcomes. What it does suggest — and what experience supports — is that structured, supportive conversations with a skilled adult can help children develop emotional awareness, confidence, and more adaptive ways of responding to difficulty.

Coaching is not a quick fix, and it does not work in the same way for every child. Its value lies in supporting long-term understanding and growth, rather than producing instant or dramatic change.

This varies depending on the child, the situation they are dealing with, and the focus of the coaching.

In some cases, changes can be noticed very quickly. When the right issue is being worked on and an appropriate approach is used, coaching can lead to immediate shifts in understanding or emotional release. Children may leave a session feeling calmer, lighter, or clearer about what they are dealing with.

However, lasting change usually develops over time. While short-term shifts can be helpful, coaching is most effective when those changes are supported and maintained, rather than treated as one-off moments.

Over a series of sessions, parents and teachers often notice more gradual changes, such as a child responding more calmly to challenges, recovering more quickly from setbacks, or using strategies they have learned to manage particular situations. These changes reflect a shift in habits and conditioning, rather than a single breakthrough.

Coaching is designed to support this longer-term development, helping children build skills and understanding they can continue to use beyond the sessions themselves.

There are a number of reasons why coaching may not be helpful, or may not be the right approach at a particular time.

When working with children, coaching is not usually something the child has chosen for themselves. Because of this, some children may be unsure at first, reluctant to engage, or need time to build trust. An important early part of my role is creating a sense of safety and rapport so the child feels comfortable and understood.

This is also why I describe my work as supporting children and parents. In many cases, what appears to be an internal issue for a child is influenced by factors within their environment. Sometimes a small change, conversation, or shift in approach at home can make a significant difference. In those situations, a session is not wasted simply because the child does not show an immediate change.

If, over a number of sessions, coaching does not appear to be having a positive effect, it is appropriate to pause and reflect. This may involve adjusting the focus or approach, or deciding together that coaching is not the right fit at that time. Where obstacles cannot be overcome, ending the coaching relationship is sometimes the most responsible option.

Coaching is intended to be supportive and constructive, not forced or prolonged when it is not helping.

Coaching works best as a collaborative process between the child, the parent, and the coach. It is significantly less effective if one of those elements is missing.

Coaching does not only happen during sessions. The purpose of the sessions is to introduce understanding, tools, or a shift in perspective. The real change happens between sessions, as the child begins to notice patterns and try out new ways of responding in everyday situations.

My role is to support this process by working directly with the child and keeping parents informed about the focus of the work. I will explain what we are working on and how you can support and reinforce it at home, helping changes to embed over time.

At times, a child may share something with me that they are not yet comfortable expressing fully to a parent. I do not keep secrets from parents and will always share the key themes or headlines of what is discussed. Before coaching begins, we agree together the level of detail that will be shared, and whether there are areas where you are comfortable with a lighter summary, provided safeguarding is not a concern.

The aim is to work transparently and collaboratively, with clear boundaries and shared understanding throughout.

Individual coaching sessions are typically scheduled for up to an hour. However, sessions are guided by what is most useful for the child rather than a fixed time limit. If a session reaches a natural conclusion earlier, it will not be extended unnecessarily, and if a little more time would be genuinely helpful, sessions may run slightly longer where appropriate.

The overall length of a coaching relationship varies depending on the child, the situation, and the goals being worked towards. Coaching is reviewed regularly to ensure it remains helpful and appropriate.

As a general guideline, around twelve weeks (three months) is often a sensible timeframe to aim for. This allows enough time for trust to develop, for new strategies to be tested between sessions, and for changes to begin embedding. Some children experience positive outcomes in a shorter period, while others benefit from continuing for longer.

Coaching is charged on a monthly basis to allow for ongoing review and flexibility, rather than committing families to a fixed programme regardless of progress.

Safeguarding is a top priority at Identity Coaching. Safeguarding arrangements are discussed as standard before coaching begins, and parents are welcome to request a copy of the full safeguarding policy at any time.

When working within schools, Identity Coaching operates in line with the school’s existing safeguarding procedures and Local Authority frameworks. Clear lines of responsibility and reporting are agreed in advance.

If a child were to make a safeguarding disclosure, appropriate action would be taken immediately. This would include contacting the school’s designated safeguarding lead where relevant, or the Local Authority Designated Officer (LADO), in line with established safeguarding procedures.

Although coaching is not a statutory role, Identity Coaching operates to the same safeguarding standards expected of professionals working with children, prioritising the safety and wellbeing of the child at all times.

I am a fully qualified and experienced teacher, with nearly a decade of experience working in schools. This background gives me a strong understanding of child development, behaviour, safeguarding, and the realities of school life.

Alongside my teaching experience, I have completed multiple advanced coaching training programmes to develop the skills and approaches I use in my work with children and families. I regularly review my practice and continue my professional development to ensure my work remains thoughtful, ethical, and effective.

Coaching itself is an unregulated profession. Because of this, I have taken particular care to establish clear professional standards appropriate for working with children. My approach is informed by statutory education standards alongside recognised coaching ethics and best practice, including principles drawn from the International Coaching Federation (ICF).

This combination allows me to work with clarity about the limits of coaching, strong safeguarding boundaries, and a clear sense of responsibility to the children and families I support.

My coaching approach is grounded in building a strong, trusting relationship. How I show up, listen, and connect with the person in front of me matters more than any particular technique or tool.

My work is relational, practical, and embodied. Sessions are shaped around conversation, reflection, and age-appropriate activities that help children better understand their emotions, thoughts, and responses, rather than simply talking about problems in the abstract.

I am trained in both traditional and transformative coaching approaches, with additional training in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). These methods inform how I structure sessions and support change, but they are always adapted to suit the individual child and the situation they are facing.

The focus is never on applying techniques for their own sake. Coaching is tailored to the child, with the aim of helping them develop understanding, confidence, and practical strategies they can use in everyday life.